Forgiveness

Forgiveness is Freedom

Chances are that some things in your life haven't gone the way you wanted them to go. Someone let you down, didn't do what you wanted them to do, did something you didn't want them to do: betrayed you, lied to you, cheated you or cheated on you, didn't give you the job you wanted, stole your money, harmed you or the ones you love or ended the life of someone you love...

None of us can change the facts about what happened in our past. We can't change a devastating fact. We can only be right here, now, with our wounded self, and turn within to see the love that needs to be exchanged there. We can be gentle and compassionate with ourselves and begin to allow the healing. And we can, with great kindness and grace, begin to take responsibility for our own present reactions to what happened in the past.

This does not mean that you are responsible for what happened back then. This does not mean that what happened wasn't devastating or despicable. This does not mean that the other person is not responsible for their actions or inactions. It does not excuse the other person from lawful justice. It does not mean that reconciliation has to happen. It does not mean that you leave yourself open to it happening again. This does not mean that your pain or anger was not very, very valid. This simply means that you can take your power back.

Ultimately resentment harms only you, not the other person. It is like picking up the bat that they hit you with, and hitting yourself with it, over and over again! Can you choose to free yourself from the pain and suffering? Have you had enough...?

So, you may ask, what is forgiveness? Most of us have lived with confusion around the meaning of forgiveness. The following may help to clarify:

Forgiveness is freeing yourself from the pain of the past.
Forgiveness is for you and no one else.
Forgiveness means that you can know the facts about what happened and not be a prisoner of them, nor a prisoner of the of the effect it has had on your life.
It means that you will not have to run the tape of what has happened over and over in your mind.
It means that you will be able think more clearly and make better choices about your life.
It means that your heart will begin to heal.
It means that your body will work better and you will be healthier.
It means that your relationship with yourself and with those around you will improve dramatically.

Forgiveness is literally saying the words "I forgive_____ (you/him/her/them/myself)." You don't have to say it to the other person even if they're around. In fact sometimes you can't or it's better not to. However, choose to say it out loud and even to a neutral friend. The ego may resist, and you can just keep on forgiving until you are no longer trapped. It takes just a moment to forgive, and in that moment you have chosen to heal. Ultimately, forgiveness liberates you... and you may just be saving your own life. When you forgive, you have given yourself the gift of life as it is meant to be; glorious.

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